| |  That night we talked, we talked about life, about our times together. Maybe we aren't the same two kids we once were, but some things never change. Some things last, and even though I didn't know what was going to happen to us, or where we were going, I just knew I couldn't let you out of my life.  Before you can grow up, you must fall in love three times. Once, you must fall in love with your best friend, ruining your friendship forever. This will teach you who your true friends are, and the fine line between friendship and more. Once you must fall in love with someone you believe is perfect. You will learn that no one is perfect, and that you should never be treated as anything less than you deserve. And once, you must fall in love with someone that is exactly like you. This will teach you about who you are, and who you want to be. And when you're through with all that, you learn that the people who care about you the most are the ones that you hurt, and the ones that hurt you are the ones that needed you the most. But most of all, you learn that love is only a concept and is not something that can be defined, it is different to each and every person on this earth, knowing that everyone only wants to be loved.  When you start to see people change, you start to wonder if they were like this in the beginning, and if you just never noticed it. But don't forget that you once loved who they were before. Don't take it out on them for changing, because nobody stays the same. We all grow, and we all change.  Every girl isn't the same and every guy isn't the same. So just because you've been hurt by someone doesn't mean you have to punish the world.  There's always that one person. No matter how many relationships they've had, how many times they didn't respond to your text, how many times they ignored you, how many times they made you feel like you didn't matter, how many times you sit on the floor crying because of them, or made you feel like shit; no matter how many times you say they don't matter, deep down, every time that they text you, look at you, give you a hug, even just say your name; your walls break down and you can't help but be happy. Even if you don't want to be  Being beautiful is more than how many boys you can get to look at you, or how much makeup you can wear. It's about what you live for. It's about what defines you. It's about the heart that you have, and what makes you special. It's about those little quirks that make you, you. It's about going against the flow, and living out what you honestly think. And that is a beautiful thing.  I love you, and I probably always will. But we go days without having a meaningful conversation, and I used to miss you so much when that happened. But it never seemed like you missed me. And I guess because of it, I stopped missing you. (One Tree Hill)  I think you could fall in love with anyone if you saw the parts of them no one else gets to see. Like if you followed them around invisibly for a day and saw them crying in their bed at night or singing in the shower or humming quietly to themselves as they make a sandwich or even just walking along the street. And even if they were really weird and had no friends at school, I think, after seeing them at their most vulnerable, you wouldn’t be able to help falling in love with them.  I know what it’s like to wanna erase your past, but you can’t pack away your past in boxes. It’s always gonna be a part of who you are. You need to know that, eventually, this isn’t gonna hurt so much. And the good times, they’re just gonna get easier to remember. And you’re gonna end up being a stronger person because of all the stuff that you’ve been through.  A dad is someone who wants to catch you before you fall but instead picks you up, brushes you off, and lets you try again. a dad is someone who wants to keep you from making mistakes but instead lets you find your own way, even though his heart breaks in silence when you get hurt. a dad is someone who holds you when you cry, scolds you when you break the rules, shines with pride when you succeed, and has faith in you even when you fail.  I think we spend too much time wondering why we're not good enough. We waste too much time putting ourselves down, that we don't ever stop to see that we are good enough. We spend too much time with our heads down and hearts closed, and never get a chance to look up from the ground and see that the sun is shining and tomorrow is another day.  We had the best years of our lives, but you and I will never be the same. September took me by surprise and I was left to watch the seasons change. It's been so quiet since you've gone and everyday feels more like a year. Sometimes I wish I could move on, the memories would all just disappear. So many things I should've said when I had the chance, so many times we took it all for granted. I never thought this could ever end, I never thought that I'd lose my best friend, everything is different now, can we stop the world from turning? I never thought I'd have to let you go, I never thought I'd ever feel this low, I wish I could go back.  Life isn't about keeping score. It's not about how many people call you and it's not about who you've dated or haven't dated at all. It isn't about who you've kissed, what sport you play, or which guy likes you. It's not about your shoes or your hair or the color of your skin, or where you live or go to school. In fact, it's not about grades, money, clothes, or colleges that accept you or not. Life isn't about if you have a lot of friends or if you are alone, and it's not about how accepted or unaccepted you are. Life isn't about that. But life is about who you love and who you hurt. It's about how you feel about yourself. It's about trust, happiness, and compassion. It's about avoiding jealous, overcoming ignorance, and building confidence. It's about what you say and what you mean. It's about seeing people for who they are and not for what you mean. It's about seeing people for who they are and not for what they have. Most of all, it's about choosing to use your life in a way that could have never been achieved otherwise. These choices are what life's about.  You were always a hot subject, always on people's lips. I had you there once. That was an even hotter subject. People always seemed to have something to say about us, or maybe it just about me, you engaging with me. After all, I was just me, not up to your typical standards. But i was made to believe I was better. I don't think that anymore.  Do me a favor? I know it isn't your fault I don't trust people or their word, but can you do one thing for me? Don't make me a promise you can't keep. Do not trick me into thinking you are always going to be there because let's be honest, there is no way you could be unless you were somehow attached to me. Then you would just get annoying. I know you're going to lie sometimes. I will too. I know you're going to get mad and frustrated and probably say some things you don't mean...we all do. I'm not going to be unrealistic in the things I ask from you, that is it. I think with this I can always be happy, with you.  Nothing is the same anymore. The looks aren't the same; the bond is not the same. Nothing is the same. I know we've fought to stay strong for a while, but sometimes I feel that being strong would mean letting go. So maybe one day, we won't pretend anymore. So maybe one day, it will all be okay again. That'a all I want. I don't care what it takes, I want to be okay again.  I believe you can love someone, but not like them. You love them for the person they were when they were with you, and for how they made you feel at one point. You still love them and you might always, but you can still not like them. Their personality might have changed. They might have gone the wrong way and lost themselves. Or they might have just given up. It can happen.  |