  Everyone says love hurts, but that is not true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt.  Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with.  Death does not simply end life. It steals away the sunsets you'll never see, the children you'll never hold, the wife you'll never love. It's frightening to almost lose your future, and it's heartbreaking to witness death snuff out other people's tomorrow's.  Sometimes you just need to be alone. Sometimes not even your best friend needs to know. Sometimes you need to put up the walls so you can examine yourself in the peace and quiet. Sometimes the loud sounds need to fade away, leaving only the silence and you.  One day I'll grow up, and I won't even flinch at the sound of your name. One day I'll grow up and I won't care about that stupid boy who broke my heart.  We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better.  Don’t ever say you’re not good enough. If that person can’t see how amazing you are, then they’re the one who’s not good enough for you.  You know it's been said that we just don't recognise the significant moments of our lives while they are happening. We grow complacent with ideas, or things or people and we take them for granted and it's usually not until that thing is about to be taken away from you that you've realized how wrong you've been that you realized how much you need it, how much you love it.  I need the smell of summer. to wake up to the sound of lawnmowers, and sleeping till noon. I need the smell of chlorine pool hair in my face, and laughing non-stop with my best friends. I need drama free days full of bonfires and camping. I need a break from caring.  Someone will always be prettier. They will always be smarter. Their house will always be bigger. They will drive a better car. Their children will do better in school, and their husbands will fix more things about the house. So let it go, and love yourself and your circumstances. Think about it: the prettiest women in the world have turmoil in their house, and the highly favoured woman at your job may be unable to have children. And the richest woman you know, she's got the car, the house, the clothes - might be lonely. And the world says "if I have no love, I am nothing." So again, love who you are. Look in the mirror in the morning and smile and say "I am blessed to be stressed and too anointed to be disappointed. Winners make things happen; losers let things happen.  Your friends are your release; they're who you have the most fun with. And yet when the going gets tough, those people turn around and suddenly, they're not just making you laugh. They're being this rock and giving you all their advice, even though you're so much your own person. If you dissect yourself, I guarantee you, your friends are in there. Their influence is incredible. They're the people whom you need most in your life.  You know that moment you feel when you wake up and realize you have more time to sleep? Or, when you accidentally overhear someone say something nice about you? Or when you see someone you like and your heart races? Or even when you reach a goal you set for yourself? Now, remember what that feels like - and next time you're upset, or sad, or crying - think about that feeling.  I guess the reason I think I'm nothing is because no one has ever fought for me. I believe that if I was really, truly, worth it, that somewhere along this road, someone would've fought for me to stay, but instead, I always wound up walking away.  The repetition of every day life kills. It ruins the flow of my creative juices. No joke. On days that I sleep in, I go to bed feeling exhausted, and yet, I never sleep on the weekends, when I should want rest. I don’t. It would be a waste of freedom. Why spend time on parole in seclusion, you know? I’m only tired on weekdays - only when I know I have to drag myself out of my fucking room to take a shower and go to school, and then to work. Maybe I’m not tired. Maybe it’s just a natural defense against running myself into the ground with routine. I feel pale, and sick, and run down… For no reason. I eat right. I see the light of day. I breathe fresh air all the time. I love the outdoors. Shit. I love my life. But between Monday and Thursday I feel so transient… My head isn’t in the clouds My feet aren’t on the ground. Where am I? I don’t know, but frankly, it sucks.  Whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it because you can’t know. You can’t ever really know the meaning of your life. And you don’t need to. Just know that your life has a meaning. Every life has a meaning, whether it lasts one hundred years or one hundred seconds. Every life, and every death, changes the world in its own way. Gandhi knew this. He knew his life would mean something to someone, somewhere, somehow. And he knew with as much certainty that he could never know that meaning. He understood that enjoying life should be of much greater concern then understanding it. And so do I. You can’t know. So don’t take it for granted, but don’t take it too seriously. Don’t postpone what you want. Don’t leave anything misunderstood. Make sure the people you care about know. Make sure they know how you really feel, because just like that. It could end.  I believe we write our own stories and each time we think we know the end, we don't. Perhaps luck exists somewhere between the world of planning, of chance and in the peace that comes from knowing that you just can't know it all. Life's funny that way... once you let go of the wheel, you might end up right where you belong.  Here's to the real girls. The real girls that will always be there for you. The real girls that don't have to wear too much make up to look beautiful because there beautiful just the way they are. The real girls that are nice and have a big heart unlike the girls that are stuck up and always get boys attention. The real girls that know that you have to work your ass off to get the things you want. The real girls that never really get noticed because there will always be another girl always first in line. The real girls that are confident in there selves but not slutty. The real girls that have an amazing personality but the boy doesn't see it because he's too busy noticing the girl that have big boobs and a big ass. The real girls that cry because that stupid boy just noticed her way too late.  i don't even know where to begin with this. i feel like writing but i'm just not sure what to write. i guess i'll just write about what's been going on lately since i haven't really done much on here except comment and rec'd people. i'm still taking classes at my school. it's going around, i mean it's school so it could go alot better. i've definitely kicked quite a few people out of my life to put in new people. i'm going to florida on the 30th so i'm really excited about that. i sure hope to make another post before florida but if i don't, i'll make one after & i'll make it long. if you're reading this and you get quotes, where are some sites that you get quotes at? i need a new website. & i'd definitely appreciate if you left anywhere other than xanga. i love you guys and miss y'all. |