  You can't let yourself fall for the same shit over and over. You can't allow it to trap you up, and suffocate you until you say what it wants you to say. You can't allow yourself to say yes and fall into it's arms. You need to get a grip on yourself because each time you say yes, you know for sure it's going to end up with tears on your side. You know it's a constant cycle, and it's bound to happen again. Seriously, get a grip on yourself and walk away when you still can. Because it's a monster. It can kill you. Love doesn't die, but it can kill you.  Bad things are always going to happen in life. People will hurt you. But you can’t use that as an excuse to fail or to hurt someone back. You’ll only hurt yourself.  I believe in sleeping in. I believe in giving 100% when you only have 80%. I believe in jamming out by yourself in the car. I believe in kisses on the forehead. I believe in smiling until your cheeks hurt. I believe that you can have just as much fun sober. I believe in taking chances and making mistakes. I believe in having someone tell you that you’re beautiful. I believe in swinging on swings and running in the rain. I believe in miracles and random acts of kindness. I believe in saying hello to anyone and everyone. I believe in second chances. I believe that everyone’s lucky to be alive.  There are some things that I'll never understand. I'll never understand the goosebumps I get when first stepping into hot water. I'll never understand the dreams I have with strangers in them, people I've never met or seen. I'll never understand how a person can keep going back to the ones who hurt them. But what I do understand is that once we do understand everything, the world loses its shine. Curiosity killed the cat, but the cat had nine lives.  Smokin' that cigarette, the girl doesn't care if it'll kill her anymore. She's the type of girl that's so broken she could just break down, but she has such a rush of adrenaline so often that she just loses it and breaks things. Poor girl, she'll so broken and nobody ever notices.  Society makes you think you're ugly, when you're beautiful. You think it's your fault, but it's not. You think you need to change yourself but don't. You think you're not worth it, but you are.  You know what the difference is between promises and memories? We break promises while memories break us.  If you want something bad enough, you'll follow ever single path, go down every single avenue you can possibly find to reach your goal. If it's worth it, you won't hesitate or second guess. If it's not, you'll just make excuse after excuse why you can't make it happen when you know perfectly well you could if you just tried.  Sometimes, life hands you a chance. It hands you something amazing, you almost think it’s a dream, but no matter how much you pinch yourself, you don’t wake up. It’s moments like those that make life really worth living, because no matter how hard times get, there are always those miracle moments that lift you back on your feet.  I wrote you a letter. I spilled it all, pen to paper, no regrets, but I never gave it to you because I realized that nothing I could ever say would bring you back to me, because you can’t make someone care when they don’t. You can’t force a feeling. You can’t make someone stay when all they want to do is leave.  Be thankful for every heartbreak, for they were planned. They come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. Their purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life. And you do.  I'm going to be braver, I'm going to be strong. I'm going to be able to hear our song & not want to cry. I'm going to be tougher, I'm going to get a thick skin. I'm going to be able to see your face & not want to run & hide. I'm going to be freer, I'm going to stand my ground. I'm going to be able to resist when I really want to give in. I'm going to be louder, I'm going to scream. One day I'm going to wake up & not think of you at all. I'm going to be strong, I'm going to be, I'm going to be brave.  What happens to our life in our dreams? When we wake up it must come to an end, but what if every night when our heads hit our pillows, our dreams kept continuing from the night before. It would be like a second life, a cool and exciting second life.  Sometimes it feels like nobody gets me, trapped in a world where everyone hates me. There's so much that I'm going through - I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you.  Games will be played, hearts will be broken, tears will fall, people will change & rumors will be spread. But life always goes on.  And you know, Disney really fucked it up for me. Lifetime movies and every single thing about love on TV and in books has given me the wrong impression. I look at every man and I see potential. But none of them have this ideal version of love like I have had all my life. I keep looking at love like it should make the world stop, like you should lose your breath with the person, but it never really happens like that, does it? Because in the end, life isn't a movie. You live, you love, you die, there is no grand plan to it all. There's just this.  There's a bright light shining inside you, it shines out through your eyes. Don't drown it away, don't be afraid, don't hide. Let it shine.  If anyone asks, I'll tell them we both just moved on. When people all stare I'll pretend that I don't hear them talk. Whenever I see you, I'll swallow my pride and bite my tongue, pretend I'm okay with it all, act like there's nothing wrong.  Most people are only players because they got played and haven't let go of the past. You got your heart broken, life sucks doesn't it, but you shouldn't fuck up someone else's life because of it. |