 You’ll probably never meet her but the idea of her will haunt you whenever you think of him. Because even though he didn’t leave you for her, it will always feel like he did. And now you can’t stop wondering who she is- if she’s sweet, if you’re prettier than her, if she worth everything you’re not. And when exactly did this transition happen, from you to her, and how did the future change from yours to theirs? You get the feeling you’ll never get the answers you’re looking for, but maybe in the end he’s not worth them.  What you deserve, is much, much greater than what you have. Your emotions are getting all mixed up and you're not sure how you should feel. Listen to your heart? Yeah, that'd be alright if you knew half of what your heart was thinking in the first place. I guess all you really can do is either let go or keep holding on, but whichever you do, always smile and be strong.  There are 82 letters in here, and they're all addressed to you. I wrote them all this summer, one a day, but I never sent them because I was afraid. I was afraid of getting my heart broken again, like before. Cause you hurt me so bad and I was afraid to be vulnerable again. I was afraid of you and the way that you make me feel. And I know that doesn't matter now, after what I did, but I just thought that you should know. This is how I spent my summer, Luke, wanting you. I was just too scared to admit it. (One Tree Hill)  Accept people for who they are. Don't force them to conform to your needs and expectations. Allow them to express their full potential.  Make the most of every experience. Don't obsess over right and wrong decisions. Go beyond risks. see the possibilities in whatever happens.  I really enjoy spending time with you, even if we're just going to be sitting around and talking about nothing. There are a million things I love about you,like your nose or the way you smile, the way you look me in the eye too. And I just get the greatest feeling when I make you laugh, I feel as if my company makes you happy, and that's what I wish for you. For you to be happy. And when I see you laugh at my clumsy ways, it just makes me want to spend the rest of my time with you so I can see a smile on your face.  Everyone says love hurts, but that is not true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality, love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt.  People think they know you. They think they know how you're handling a situation. But the truth is, no one knows. No one knows what happens after you leave them, when you're lying in bed or sitting over your breakfast alone and all you want to do is cry or scream. They don't know what's going on inside your head - the mind-numbing cocktail of anger and sadness and guilt. This isn't their fault. They just don't know. And so they pretend and they say you're doing great when you're really not. And this makes everyone feel better. Everybody but you.  This is failure. It’s that moment when you realize that a choice you made, or something you did, has fully changed the course of your life. But what matters even more than this truth is what you do choose to do once you know it. The tendency may be to curl up in the fetal position and wait for things to improve. But if you can somehow manage to take a breath and look around you, you might just spot another path you hadn’t seen before. It may not be easy to walk, especially the beginning. But all that really matters is that it’s there.  If there's one thing I could take away from my previous relationships it would be to search for a beautiful heart, not necessarily a beautiful face. Beautiful people are not always good, but good people are always beautiful. There is nothing more beautiful than an intelligent, hard-working, independent, respectful man. It's hard to say you deserve better when you, ladies, are in control of what you deserve.  Maybe this is supposed to be the end of us, maybe we are not supposed to reconcile and be friends again. Maybe we were here to teach one another a lesson, and once the lesson was taught we were supposed to leave. You taught me love, lust, pain and trust. I taught you to never let anyone take advantage of you. And now maybe, just maybe, this is the end for us.  Maybe it makes sense now. Maybe somewhere in all of this there’s a reason. Maybe somewhere in all of this there’s a why. Maybe somewhere there’s that thing that lets you tie it all up with a neat bow and bury it in the backyard. But nothing, not getting angry, not prayers, and not tears, nothing can make something that happened unhappen.  When you remember how hard it is to change yourself, you begin to understand what little chance we have of changing others.  Maybe it meant something. Maybe not, in the long run, but no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant.  To wear your heart on your sleeve probably isn't the best plan, you should wear it inside, where it functions best.  I'm never letting this one go because, often, certain people enter our lives at the most peculiar times for the most beautiful reasons. They seem to make the most perfect impressions while leaving us behind an everlasting impact. Some of the best things in life appear when you least expect them, things you can never forget.  Judge me and i'll prove you wrong. Tell me what to do and i'll tell you off. Say i'm not worth it and watch where i end up. Think i'm a bitch and i'll show you one. Screw me over and i'll do it twice as bad in return. Call me crazy but you really have no idea.  You have to get hurt. That's how you learn. The strongest people out there- the ones who laugh the hardest with the genuine smile,those are the ones who have fought the hardest battles. Because they have decided that they're not going to let anything hold them down, they're showing the world who's the boss.  Next time you're stressed, take a step back, inhale and laugh. Remember who you are & why you are here. You're never given anything in this world that you cannot handle. Be strong, be flexible, love yourself & love others. Always remember, just keep moving forward. |